A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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Why did a black person get gingivitis? He repeatedly didn't brush which caused both dental plaque and tartar getting filled with harmful bacteria, and if they aren't removed from teeth, they will begin to irritate the gums and cause gingivitis.

What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

Sometimes I don't make sense, but when I do, I don't

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

What do you call a man that's not funny? An un - funny man!

How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

How come the bartender didnt let the black guys in the bar Because the bar was closed.noone was aloud in the bar

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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