Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

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Winter

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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Yo mama is so fat she probably has diabetes, poor circulation in her extremities, and cannot ride anything at Disney World.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops