How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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A child walked into the bar. He was promptly asked to leave because he was too young.

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I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

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Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

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Shaun Sutton Call me: 1-800-tryhard ;)

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two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”. the bar was in japan.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I´ll give anything to be screw by you.

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How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four because snakes don't have legs.

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Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

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What is the good thing about having sex with KL..... Nothing because she is a fat man

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Whats big orange and likes to eat rocks? a big orange rock eater

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Why did the dog die? He was old

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Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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