Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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A pig walks into a bar and says, "Oink."

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What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

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a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

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Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

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why did the black man go to court he was a lawyer it's is job

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

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Roses are red Grass is green Get in the van If you know what I mean

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

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How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

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Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

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Why did the middle-aged black man lose his job? Because in this day in age, many businesses are being forced to lower their pay-roll, and he could no longer be afforded.

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A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

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How do you shoot an eagle? You don't. The eagle is going too fast for you.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H20." The second one says "why did you come to the bar if you're just going to have water?" and orders a beer.

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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