So much with being an author... You with the Feds? The CIA?

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Q: Are their Jews in Hell? A: No, because Hitlers there

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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what do u call a kid with autism? a autistic s.o.b or Hennon bart

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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Yo mama's so white, she's an albino!

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Q.what did god say when he made the first black person? A.oh shit i burnt it.

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I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

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My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

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How many people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, more people would just make it harder.

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What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

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I had a friend named Joshua, he died of AIDs, cancer, and several other diseases.

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There was a black and white spotted dog named Louis. Why did they call her that? Because, that's what they named her.

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Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5... that's $10.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust? getting raped by a giant scorpion What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher, Mr. Smith What's worse than getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher Mr. Smith? Snapping your femur bone in half What's worse than snapping your femur bone in half? Birthing a dead baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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