A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Listen, I do not really care anymore, I admit it, I dont mind screwing with people, but if your name is Tifa, my name is lets see... Solid Snake, yeah, but call me big boss. Listen, be honest with me, if you do not trust me, just do not give me a random name, Tifa as in Tifa Lockheart? Final Fantasy? Wake up, girl/guy, you are losing your touch at this.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A dog was barking at a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +6

wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Chris Bosh's neck

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does karissas vagina taste like? Ask vantwon

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops