What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Why did the black guy love his new shirt? Because it was 100% cotton

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What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

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My trip to Italia: Italian most: WELCOME TO ITAAAAAAALIA! YOU WANT THE PIZZA YES? Me asking my then Italian girlfriend: Are all Italians so loud? Then girlfriend: Yeah kinda... Her brother overhearing us: WHO! GAVE! YOU THE BALLS! TO JUDGE US! Me: Uh I am just surprised at... Her bro: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS... DONT LOOK AT ME! Me: *looking down at the ground somewhat ashamed* bro: LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! NO! DONT LOOK AT ME! I will let you go for this time yes? Next time I will take you outside and beat you up okay? LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME! Conclusion: Wow you Italians are bad ass... I mean hell this is was a real life experience of mine, I was just a teen back then but I got a headache and threw up ending up in bed later... Fact: I am nearly two meters but walk with a hunch, the guy was half my size but still broke me down, wow Italians are bad ass...

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

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The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

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Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

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A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? It's Jim. Jim who? I'm your son, Jim. Are you losing your memory?

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Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Wtf?

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what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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