Sally walked into a bar and asked for a drink. Because she was under 21 they denied her request,

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

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3

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, We're doing it backwards, That's what she said.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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I killed someone on minecraft.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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Poop

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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