- Knock Knock - Who is it ? - I'm a Jehovah witness - Sorry, I don't know anyone by the name of "a Jehovah witness". Bye.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

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Q: why are anti-jokes tasteless? A: because they have no flavoure

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Where does the Queen of England live? England.

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Like this if you have a big diick like me Dislike if you have a baby diick Ignore if you're a girl and get back in the kitchen

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Why did the Chicken cross the Road? To get to the other side! (To fully appreciate the subtle nuisances of this joke, you really have to be a chicken.)

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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69

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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