You idiot thats 9 letters

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? He thought he saw a ghost.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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bangers and mash?

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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I have aids

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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