What did batman say to robin before getting into the bat mobile? Don't touch my penis.

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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Who's on first? Garvey.

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

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Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

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What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

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What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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