Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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*Guy and Jar of Chunky Peanut Butter* Guy; "Hey you're chunky" Peanut Butter; "I know"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had three balls.

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what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

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Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

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What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Whats faster than a black man running away from the cops? The speed of light.

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what goes boo a sock

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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whats annoying and won't go away?. Aids.

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what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops