Q. How did the little girl fall of the swing? A.She got hit by a fridge

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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If a small quiz is a quizicle then what is a small test? A quiz.

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a guy walks into the bedroom with a duck in his arms, his wife is in bed half nakid. he then coments out loud this is the pig im f**king. his wife says huny your holding a duck. then he with a serious look on his face says im sory i wasent talking to you

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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What's up with airplane food? Well I am a big fan of peanuts, so nothing

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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did u hear the one about helen keler neather did she

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Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

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A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

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Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

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How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

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Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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