Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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What's purple, blue, red, orange, yellow and green. A rainbow .

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Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

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25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

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How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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I need to start studying.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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What is similar between a horse and a zebra? - If you chopped of there heads, they would die.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Since when is it any of your business? Cant we live in a world where chickens can cross the road freely without having there motives questioned?

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why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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