I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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Q. How did the little girl fall of the swing? A.She got hit by a fridge

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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Why did the bear eat the asian? It was hungry

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Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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Your moms so fat She should get some help because there's nothing good about being fat

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"...."-Hellen Keller

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why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

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What happened to timmy? He had downsyndrome and walked off a cliff

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When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

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Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

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a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

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Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

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What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

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josh is a skinny headed keppy mong

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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