What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

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Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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What do you call a low-fat banana? A nothing...

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I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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Why did Jane break up with DeShawn? Cause they grew apart

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

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Q: How much jizz does a gay guy have? A: a butt load

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How are baseball and the holocaust similar? They're both games, except for the holocaust

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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Steven hawkings shook my hand

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Hi, my name is Jake.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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