You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Nothing. His parents are dead and Santa doesn't exist.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Your mother's so fat.....When she gets on the scale, it tells her how much she weighs

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

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when debbie meets downer

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A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

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If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

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I was walking down the street then my hands were itchy so I stuck em in my pockets Jk, I'm a donkey. We don't have hands

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem makes no sense refrigerator.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

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What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

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A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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