Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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Whats Bin Laden's favorite store 9/11

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Mario goes home after a hard day of work and finds his entire family killed and a note from Bowser... He is now an asshole who beats and rapes kids...

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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What is the difference between a tree and a person? Trees don't scream when hit with an axe.

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What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Yo Momma is not fat.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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What's blue and white and can't climb a tree? A fridge in a denim jacket!

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Q: What do you call a black woman who can't tell you who her baby daddy is? A: "Mam". Rape is a serious and painful crime, and the strength to raise a child on her own without her consent is worthy of respect.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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