Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

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Why was the boy dead? The boy was hit by a bus ran over by a train and stabbed to death by a murderer then put into a grinder for a meal for the murderer.

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Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

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Why did greg come to America? Because he wanted visit the states

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What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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I'm a fork. Fork you!!

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What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

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why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

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How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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Q-whats worse than getting shot. A-getting shot twice

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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I killed someone on minecraft.

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What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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