Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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A horse walks into a bar, and a man says "Hey, why the long face?" The horse calmly turns to him and replies, "Because I'm a horse you drunk moron."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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