Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

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hi

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

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8

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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why was the little girl crying? because i raped her.

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Whats worse than being bored, Being you.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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