Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

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A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Artificial insemination.

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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i am 26 why was i kidnapped 13 years ago cause i was in a badly written play

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

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The U.S. economy is in poor condition and it's downfall would have repercussions throughout the entire world.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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The Ohio State Buckeyes

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Did you know diarrhoea is genetic? It is a side effect of Polycystic Kidney Disease.

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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What do you call a rich black man? A auntrapanour who simply enjoys making more money than any average person

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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