A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

A blind Man walks into a Bar. A young man quickly runs over to him and helps him up.

i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

What's the diffrents between a horse and a zebra? WELL clearly there names duh.

I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

Knock Knock Who’s there? Wolf Wolf who? Wolf who!? Is that really the first question that comes to mind when confronted with a talking wolf?

Q: What do you call a gay man in a... A: Keith.

Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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