What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

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Think of a number between 0 and 2 That's how many times you're going to die in this life

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Three black men get out of a taxy. They split the bill evenly and get on with their day... By Wade

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I blackmailed his family with rape from Ronald mcdonald

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Why did the chines were sunglasses? It was sunny.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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You are so down to earth, and never confuse that with "simple minded".

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Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Wtf?

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How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops