A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

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How to have a cheap party in just 5 steps: 1. Buy 100 McDonald's burgers and give everyone food poisoning 2. Bring out that black serial killer's mask you've been working on. 3. Bring out that sharp knife. 4. Slit everyone's throats. 5. Dance.

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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Why do black people have white hands? Palms and soles are not in direct sunlight, and therefore less amounts of melanin are produced in those regions.

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy mushroom soup in my testicles belly Buton cheese.com ( tickle my. Nipple frog)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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