Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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penis in the camel

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because he was a loaf of bread

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Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

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How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

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Why do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smile? Because they enjoy there life even though there both blind.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

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What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

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A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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