Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sociopathic murderer.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

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Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Hehe 9/11 Funny Stuff If you know what I mean!!

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I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? You would still call them the Flintsones

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

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Yo momma so fat she's obese.

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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In Kentucky...your grandmother rapes you.

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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