A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

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What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

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What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

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What is better than life? Nothing.

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Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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wht does a blonde do with a box of crayons? eat a taco.

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My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination" and then he was resuscitated and became an atheist.

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PhilosopherCon: "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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"Knock knock," "Who's there?" "Black man," "Black man who?" "Gimme yo money!"

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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Sometimes i'm hungry.

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What does a cow do at McDonald's? He is eaten by obese people.

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What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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