Q. what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A. nothing you done told her twice already

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Prostitution is bad.......

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Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

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A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

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A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

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What did the orange say to the apple? Nothing, fruits can't talk.

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Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

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Why did little jimmy fall off the building? 9/11

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

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How do black guys say hi to each other? Hi.

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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Today is March 22.

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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Your momma is so stupid your momma forgot that jesus did exist and has been proven by historians to have existed

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops