Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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your a vagina says you, you're a tit

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A car walked into a bar... wait no it didn't it has wheels.

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What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

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What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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Q. What do you say when a baby gets hit by a car? A. Lol fail

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops