What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

Joesph Triphook.

knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

Knock Knock The doors already open

why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

why do women rip you off? Because they like money

I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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