Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you call a black man in the dark? missing.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Cinema greatest shit final, anime and videogames dont translate well into movies edition: One day... a young man named Tyler Reed, is chased by the notorious bully named Peter Ganondorf... Just then... he coincidentally utters "I AM THE LINK!" And a great lightning bolt strikes him... Tyler Becomes THE LINK! As for Peter Ganondorf... he became a pile of burning ashes... But Just then THE LINK, gets contacted by Jessica Fairy! And receives a important message... The evil Dr.Bullshitious has destroyed the connection without earth and planet Zelda! And that is bad... BECAUSE! Can Tyler Reed use his powers of lightning fast flight, and collect the TWO pieces of the mystic "triforce" to earn the ultimate weapon? The Master gun! Most importantly, can he become THE LINK between Planet Zelda and Earth? *Shows random shots that you cant make shit of like those movies you know suck just from the narration* ZELDA: THE LINK TO PLANET EVOLUTION! Moral: Still better than Dragon Ball Evolution...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what has 2 legs and bleeds alot half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Nickleback.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get if you have a bundle of children's clothing, some moisturising cream, a gas mask, a lollipop, more candy and a bag? A disguise.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the water bottle say to the Itunes gift card Nothing,they're both innament object and don't have mouths.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't the black man eat lunch? Because his lunch asked him not to eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I have cancer. And you're next.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what looks like a banana? a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the Jew go to prison. He slaughtered his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops