what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

Whats worse than Justin Bieber's love life. My ass crack.

Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

in china a dog was being cooked on the grill he was seasoned ans eaten by a black man

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, instead it got put in to a McDonald's chicken wrap. Life is funny sometimes, and sceane

What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

All of the people in the burning building escaped except for one what was wrong with that one person? He was a blind, could not hear and was in a wheelchair.

What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

Two polar bears are sitting in a hot tub. One polar bear asks the other to pass the soap. The other responds, "No soap, radio!"

How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

what did sushi A say to sushi B? Nothing, because sushi is composed of aboitic fish, rice and other nutritious components and cannot speak

9/11.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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