And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Yo mama so stupid she was trying to put her M&M's in alphabetical order

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

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courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken saw some potential food across the street.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops