A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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why was justin sad? his family was murdered

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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