What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

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Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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