There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mama so fat! Really she should get on an exercise program and watch her diet, as she is at higher risk for diabetes and other health issues

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats funnier than 24?????????????????????????????????????????? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops