I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

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What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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What is yellow and Bear Grills has drunk on National Television. ...Lemonade.

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What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

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Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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Darnell has a 2 ounce gold chain around his neck. Gold is worth $1,639 per ounce. Where did Darnell steal the gold chain from?

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BOTTOM!!!

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my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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Why is 16 scared of 17? Because 17, 18, 19 *crickets*

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Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

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Why did the baby boy start crying? He got hit with a toaster

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops