Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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Yo momma is so ugly that she uses it as motivation to work hard and thus for achieve more than a lot of whores do

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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What's Green and invisible? This cabbage --------------------------->>>>>

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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why are chickens dying so fast? because black people are hungry.

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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Why did the boy fall out of the plane. Because the plane was on fire.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a mission for N.A.S.A.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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a jewish man walks into a wall with an erection. what hits first? his erection

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69!!! (its funny cause i made a referance to 69)

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What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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Q: What's the difference between a child dressing as a ghost for Halloween and a real ghost? A: About a tablespoon of arsenic.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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