Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

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Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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What's green and blue? yellow

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Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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How did the Mexican get into the U.S.A.? He came in legally, and got his green card. He then continued his life as a business man and won the lottery four years later for 5 million dollars. He then bought a cool television, he also had children and put the money in their college funds later.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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