What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

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A man walks into a bar. Cool story, bro.

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Stick figure says to the artist "Can't you make it any bigger?" Artist:"No, I ran out of lead?"

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Ask me If I am an orange? Are you and Orange? No

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What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

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If Life Throws You Melons, Then You're Probably Dyslexic. -S.H.A.T Brother 2Flush

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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mark is religion

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT GAY! But my boyfriend is. Love you, Jeff.

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So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

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Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops