Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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What would you get if you crosses a potato and a frog? Nothing because potatoes cannot breed with animals

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What do you can a preschool on fire? A very dangerouse situation

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

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A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

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Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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What do black people and white people have in common? They are both mentioned in this box

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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why do you put a baby in the blender feet first to see its expression

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What do shoes and boxes have in common Both will get squashed if a washing machine lands on one of them

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One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

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A black man and a white man get married... Trick question, since gay marriage is illegal in the United States, the men did not get married, and they later both died alone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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