What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

thumb_up thumb_down +13

so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken saw some potential food across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the very inquisitive poor black guy say to the very rich white man at the train station? Nothing, they didn't know each other. And they both had their iPods in. And they were at different train stations. And they were in different countries. And the black guy died 20 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A White guy invites his Black friends into his house, he says "Make yourself at home." THEY DO

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops