Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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Q:Howd the blind kid find his way home? A:He didnt, he got lost and died of starvation.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

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what's worse than a joke about the holocaust? the holocaust.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse didn't respond, because it's a horse.

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q ggggggggggggggggg

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how do u kill a blonde: drop something shiny at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 2 blondes: but a mirror at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 3 blondes: ask which 1 of them is the prettiest and then wait 5 minuetes:)

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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What is the worst thing about a couple of white kids playing with a couple of black kids? There are no parks or recreation centers within walking distance from there houses.

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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Why is there air? To blow up basketballs

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Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops