Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

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My son lost his first tooth today...so proud. Took my punch like a champ

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if i gave a rats ass, I'd worry about you.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

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snooki

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Person 1: what is 2 + 2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: no Person 2: what is it than? Person 1: vagina

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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What did the PC say to the Mac? Nothing you idiot! Computers can't talk.

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Your face

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

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Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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what happened to the atheist when he died? he went to HELL

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops