What did the Rabbi say to the priest? The holocaust was real and it tore apart my family.

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a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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What do you call a Chineses filled with bus?

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What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

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Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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what did the dead guy say to the boy? nothing he is dead.

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An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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A prostitution ring operates out of a subway. How much does the prostitute with a foot long penis cost? About $300, for a 12 inch penis is very rare and desirable.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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What happened to timmy? He had downsyndrome and walked off a cliff

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What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

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How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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