What's worse then running out of toilet paper? Getting shot

What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

Oh, go away

Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

"I saw daddy with mommy last night. I think he was stealing my milk."

what did one dinosaur say to the other? "rawr"

What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

What did the fish say to the human ? He didn't say anything fish can't speak.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

Why did a black kid kill his teacher? No reason. That what they do

What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

so...um, yeah

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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