Why did the crab blush? It didn't because crab's can't blush.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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There are three muffins sitting in an oven. The first one says nothing. The second one also says nothing. They're just muffins and muffins can't talk.

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what did the African baby get for his birthday?..... AIDS

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Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

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So 185 cowboys walk into a bar and the bartender says "I can't serve 185 cowboys!" The cowboys ask why not and the bartender says "Because that would exceed the legal maximum occupancy of this building."

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This is a joke.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the teenager crash his car? He had no arms

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kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

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A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags

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Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

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why did the black go to the KFC because he likes fried chicken

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Q. Whats worse than 9 babies in 1 suitcase? A. 1 baby in 9 suitcases.

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

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What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

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Don't make jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off a watchtower.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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