being sober in a bar fight

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A girl falls out of a tree. She got hit by a flying pig.

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What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

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If you can't see what I see... You must be blind. If you can see what I see... Well I can't be blind because I have been able to see all my life!

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4 score and 7 years ago was 1965

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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WNBA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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Why was the little boy crying? Well first off he is adopted. He then woke up and found out his pop star dad is dead. ..... His name is blinket.

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I forgot my joke about gamblers, but i bet you would have loved it!

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

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A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

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* How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? * He just need to go to the Register Office and change his name to "a man"

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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