My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Around 10PM on a Saturday two Irishmen walk into a bar. They order up a round of drinks, and comment on the appearance of several women in the place whom they believe to be single. After finishing up their drinks, the one Irishman asks the other if he'd like another one. The other says no, that he promised his wife he'd be back soon with diapers for the baby. He thanks his friend for the drink and leaves for home. The remaining Irishman orders up another "round" from the bartender, but really it's only one drink he is ordering, being he is only one person.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Who's there? (Punch the listner in the face)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What Mistake Do Ghosts make? None ghosts dont exist..

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock whose there? my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

your face

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

:O <===============3 :===========3 :======3 :===3 :3 It all makes sense now.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops