Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

The WNBA is on the cooking channel

- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

c======3

A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

If you posten bout Kony I feel bad for you son. Cause ive snached 99 children and you pst saved none jesse

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

I shot a bitch.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

Q: What's more silly than the idea of a wealthy, successful black man? A: A Clown

What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

Two Muslim men board an American Airlines jet. Nobody feels threatened and engage in friendly conversations with the passengers. The aircraft explodes due to poorly manufactured engine parts made by small starving children.

What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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