What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

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I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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Q: What does Chinese look like? A:Chinese

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because early that morning she had found out that her husband had left her for another chicken. She became depressed and soon was suicidal so she started looking for an option out of her pain. So she tried to cross the road... She never made it.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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person one: ask me if im a carrot person two: are you a carrot? person one: nope (the walks away)

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What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

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1d

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i find your gravy quite lumpy.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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What did the 20-year old woman say too the old man? HI GRANDPA!

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

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Q) Why did the Koala fall out of the tree A) Because it was dead!

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops