asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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Too bad, because UNTIL YOUR FUCKING "POWER OF HUMAN KIND" CAN SUMMON UP A FUCKING EYEBALL! NOTHING WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS SHIT! "Oh, my the good old phonebook, I will... Now... try... to... seduce... you... with... my... "goodness" As far as "oh I know where you live", well nobody here is hiding fagface! So you come out of your "darkness or shadows or whatever" and let me stab out both your fucking eyes! And we are STILL NOT GOOD! And yeah, have your faggots stop calling themselves Nero.

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Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -a black man that left his family

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

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What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

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Q: Why do homeless people smell bad? A: Because they live on the street and they dont take showers it's very sad sometimes.

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

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Why did the cat lick the black guy. Because the cat thought it was dirty.

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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